I've had a hell of a week. It's just been up one day, down the next. Happy to see my best friend and her baby, not so happy with my work situation. Days of being scolded followed by days of smiles, followed by more B.S. Superbusy, and in the meantime, for the first time in months, because of one reason or another, I haven't practiced yoga since a week ago today. Practiced this morning with Dolly, and the day just went better. I think I'm on to something.
On the way home from dinner out, it dawned on me that this week that I haven't practiced has really been awful. Granted, there were some things that happened this week that exacerbated the situation, but deep down, on top of all of it, I've been agitated by not being able to practice, I'm missing the calm that floods me after Dolly's classes, and I've noticed that my ability to cope with reality in a kind and patient way has fully escaped me. I've been unforgiving, depressed, volatile, and short-tempered. As I said, there have been some seriously trying things that have happened, but I just feel so much more on edge—and there has been nothing to temper this.
This is your brain on yoga: introspective, forgiving, thoughtful, nonharming, and open. Your brain off yoga: impatient, judgmental, agitated, selfish, and isolated. I think even if I had done a couple 30-minute practices at home, I would have seen a difference in my reaction to the not-so-pleasant developments of this week. I do recognize that I am truly blessed, and that what I am calling a bad week is really no where near the realm of bad when compared to the trials and tribulations of others. But still, it wasn't fun, and I can see that without yoga, I'm not the newer, nicer, more patient me. I'm cranky me, and you can probably feel my wrath from 20 feet away, blindfolded and wearing earplugs. I feel retaliatory, angry, resentful, and really, like I'm 15 again. Not pretty and certainly not healthy.
So where am I going with this? This is a realization. Yoga reverberates in me on every level. I'm sure there are probably many people who can identify with this, but since this is the first time I've gone a week without yoga since I began practicing, it's the first time I've witnessed the dramatic shift in my mindset. And in just seven days. That is crazy.
So I'm glad to be back in class, glad to have an outlet, glad for the realization that yoga really does make me a better person. If only I could convince the world that my yoga practice should come first, for the sake of everyone's well-being...